Saturday, April 7, 2018

The Apple Snob

As the saying goes: blogging = focus + voice.

I've nailed the focus bit. But sometimes I fret about the voice.

Meet the Apple Snob, an online persona I have played with, though only in my head.

Dashing fellow with a bicycle
Tally ho!

Because who does not like a little knowing snark with their fruit?

The Apple Snob is well dressed, if eccentrically so. He affects hats and jackets and maybe knickerbockers.

Certainly facial hair or a pipe.

He is knowing and witty, and has dash and an impeccable inner style. From his pose of casual superiority, he invites you to join him.

Laugh with him as he mocks Red Delicious and the clueless unsophisticates who think they are good to eat. Join him in sneering at the boring old supermarket varieties.

Bask in his knowing, if world-weary, smile. Savor his rants and arch commentary. Have a little fun with this apple stuff, by gosh!

It would be entertaining to be the Apple Snob, at least for a little while. And maybe fun for you to hang with him. But here's the thing.

I'm not that guy. I don't hate your apple, whatever it is, even if I do not personally love it the way you do.

I just like to sample and talk about every apple there is.

So, someone else will have to be the Snob, or at least play him on TV.

And my blogging voice is just...me.


Another dashing chap

The images in this blog post are in the public domain.

5 comments:

  1. Thanks dAdam, I am new to your blog and enjoy your posts about all the different varieties of apples. I too am a apple nut, am starting an heirloom apple orchard in Iowa saving all the old varieties that are still growing here. I agree with you about the red delicious, it isn’t very good now after so many changes through the years, but it always hasn’t been bad tasting. When it was called the Hawkeye, it tasted so much better and there is not a hint of today’s red delicious. I have acces to a very old Hawkeye tree and will try and send you a few this coming fall if I can get some without coddling moth holes.

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    1. Hi Gordon! I have written several times about the sporting of Hawkeye. I did not know that anyone still grew the original version!

      Are those Hawkeyes on your profile page, btw?

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    2. Yes those are Hawkeye apples on my profile page. As you can see they are shaped differently, more like a strawberry. They are lightly striped but still have the 5 bumps on the bottom of the apple.

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  2. Adam, thank you for all your work on this blog. I've been hungry for real apples, and reading all your descriptions feeds at least my imagination and dreams as I eat mediocre Fuji's and galas. I think I like too many apples to be a good apple snob. Red delicious are not exactly a favourite of mine, but I do find them delicious if they're ripe and not mealy. (I learned as a little girl in Wenatchee that reds are best when they're almost black in colour, and fresh off the tree so they still have quite a bit of starch in them--actually, that starchy flavour is what I thought "crisp" meant! In the supermarket, dark colour and very firm squeeze are important.) A good Red Delicious will leave your mouth feeling fresh and sweet (not cloyingly), somewhat like walnuts or artichokes will do. They don't have much fragrance or complexity, and are best suited to pairing with something mild like mozzarella, or with peanut butter. Not exciting, but comfortable sometimes.

    I've tasted local apples in Washington, Oregon, Tennessee, Kentucky, Idaho, Virginia, and Hong Kong but not the Northeast or the Midwest. There are so many varieties to try! I hope someday I can experience the apple culture in these other great apple growing areas. Thanks for sharing your experiences and broadening our horizons.

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    1. It's my pleasure, Alice E.

      I have to wonder how many of the big growers in Washington allow Red Delicious to stay on the tree long enough to achieve the maturity you describe. It seems as though every innovation over the past century has been about picking early to maximize yield, and favoring sports that blush early to make those apples look riper than they are.

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